Paradise Lost....Then Found

So here I am, sitting in a coffee shop in Mesa, AZ, looking out the window on a gloomy, rainy day. We rarely see days like this in the Phoenix area so it only seems appropriate to release my first blog post in months on this melancholy, cloudy day. This day represents how I felt about music for most of 2009. My passion was lost. Not to make this a downcast post but I truly didn't enjoy music anymore (but acted like it). It wasn't until September that I realized I needed a break to figure out what the hell was wrong. You heard the old saying "don't fix what isn't broken" right? Well, if things are "broken" in your life and you're stuck in a vicious cycle doing the same things over and over, you have to make changes to start to fix things. And fix things is what I did!

Basically, music to me was becoming more and more business and less and less fun/passion. For some reason, many of you always thought I had more money than I did. I live a frugal life by choice but money was still an issue. I realized that trying to pay bills with music was causing me tremendous stress. That stress literally killed my passion for music. Music was all I ever wanted to do. I use to love going to concerts. You know something's wrong when my good friends in All Time Low or other bands I know come into town and I don't even want to hang out. Concerts were the last place I wanted to be for much of 2009.

When The Daily Chorus started in the first week of January 2007, it was a hobby. It went through tremendous growth in such a short time, thanks to friends, staff members, bands and site visitors. You could clearly see my passion for it and I couldn't wait to find the next unsigned band that could break. If you followed TDC in those days, you would've been the first to know about The Maine, Forever The Sickest Kids and Lydia. But the hobby started turning into a job in the summer of 2008 as the SmartPunk deal was happening. I thought it was going to be the greatest thing for me and all my investors/friends/staff. But the stress was too much. The "burnt out" tag became my life. I tried to deny it but everyone else could see it. I suffered from high anxiety and was on the border of having anxiety attacks. Because I had an attack in the past, I recognized the symptoms and avoided a full blown attack. But living with a knot in your chest for a year isn't very fun. It's a constant reminder of how stressed you are which only creates more worry/anxiety.

After leaving SmartPunk, I worked with Tim Kirch and the bands The Maine, A Rocket To The Moon and, of course, the band I managed, The Goodnight Anthem. Initially, I thought my passion was back but I quickly found out it wasn't. Personal debt became a major stressor in my life. I had to make a change and it happened abruptly.

The change was a 4-month break to get all my priorities straight. I thought I would never return to music again. I even told people that. I was done and never wanted to look back. Here I was trying to manage bands and companies but I couldn't even manage my own stress or life. I changed my phone number, stopped answering emails and stopped using social networks. I literally cut myself away from anything music related. But the lure of great bands, songs and music wouldn't let go. I still have that craving to find new and talented bands. So I'm back. And my creativity and passion are back but this time, music will go back to being a hobby. I have a "real" job to pay the bills and keep me stress-free. This doesn't mean music is less serious to me. It just means every music decision I make will not have to involve thinking about finances. I will actually have money to put into my born-again hobby. I can have fun again!

2009 was a personal struggle that wasn't anyone's fault. It was just a year of high-stress that required a lot of major decisions for me.

So what's next?

Look for a video/audio podcast from me in early 2010. I feel like information online and in print can only go so far. Bandology.net will still exist and still be a daily blog post about music, bands and events. But the podcast will have a voice and face associated with it.

I have many ideas that I do not want to reveal just yet. And, as for the name of the podcast, I have to keep that under wraps as it seems people have been buying web URLs of my past ideas/titles (I don't blame them for trying to make a buck). I gotta keep this secret for now! haha The podcast will have a twist. It will cover new bands, unsigned bands, interviews, entertainment news, guest appearances, guest podcasters and other cool stuff. There will also be a video aspect of the podcasts for people that like visual stimuli. Because the equipment to set up a professional podcast is going to cost around $500 (again, I'm glad I have a real job now to afford that), look for a February release date. But until then, I'll need your help with a lot of ideas so keep coming to Bandology.net to find out what I need.

Getting music clearance and licensing to play bands on the podcast is my #1 priority right now. Luckily, I've always had good relations with labels and several indie labels are already helping with clearances. Of course, I'll play unsigned bands as well!

If you use Amazon.com for music downloads and you see a band/album you like in the left-hand column on Bandology.net, I would be grateful if you clicked on the Amazon links if you are interested in buying the album.  It helps with the costs of running the site.

I added my Last.fm account on the site so you can add me and see what I'm listening to.  That could end up being embarrassing for me as I have some bad listening habits at times!  Don't forget to add me on Twitter!

Thank you for the years of support and the "old" Tim Towner is back. My thedailychorus@gmail account has almost 2,000 unanswered emails so don't send anymore to that one please. Email me at my new one: timtowner77@gmail.com. I'll slowly go through my old email's email.

Who's ready to discover new bands in 2010???